I’m a Long Way Back So Be Here Now

Eyes closed and a deep breath in, be here now I heard someone say so I say in reply to the void, “yes, I am here now”.
With the rise of the day and the dark drop of night, I am here; here in the time that passes with each breeze that has drifted over my skin flowing through the air like the blood tracing through my veins continuing the life that has been and will be. Here we go, where I came from has no way of telling me where I will go, but I sure will be glad to get there. My choice is to sing my song or trudge my feet through the way I set upon as I make chase for a dream. Or maybe I will forget myself and go by day and not have the broader canvas of my life in mind, I hope not, I’ll stop along the way to be and make sure I am still me.

I know most everyone has this feeling of “what’s next or where am I”, I guess in all honesty I question myself in this daily, and I ask myself why I am not better than yesterday to become whom I’d like to be. It’s a tragedy that we all forget the little tasks, traits, or habits add up to make what we see in our day, and each day to the week, week to month, and month to year. If we just understood be here now is so much more than living for the moment, and more so of not taking for granted what is at your feet at this very moment maybe we could be the way we wish to be. I certainly know I would be a greater me if I listened to those three words deeper, and took a moment each day to let them fully saturate in. If you are as shallow as a kiddie pool, I’ll be blunt and curtly inform you you need to straighten the F up and realize there is so much more that you live in, around, and affect with every single day. There’s a reason why the largest question in our life is, what does my life mean? Yes, the world goes on without you, but “no idea, no impact” doesn’t cut it, and concerning yourself with owed debt of “I deserve” and what not is just foolish plights that you’re lying to yourself with. Advancement does not rest on the shoulders of the lucky, advancement does not rest at all you see; it speeds forward with those whom concern themselves with forward thinking and working effort. We should be use to working for what we get, everything in our life takes work, love, friendships, marriages, fitness, cars, houses, cleanliness, organization, money, peace of mind. It literally takes hard work in every aspect of life to excel or procure results so why assume rebelling with lackluster laziness will get you anything but a life full of yesterdays with missed opportunity. I’m not here to get on a soap box, and by now if you have read anything I have written you’ll notice I am basically having a written thought process with myself, or discussion I’d say more accurately; I’ll debate myself and of course see room for improvements whether it be in my thoughts, writing, or even life style. I’d like to think that’s a decent way of critiquing myself while making the model agenda I’d like to set for my pathway of thought and actions. It is essentially a reflection, and I see the statement of be here now as a reminder to take a moment to reflect; like a very clear mirror we all know you cannot hide from what is being shown back to you. Seeing a raw feature of what is the depiction you are reflecting of who you are to the world should be enough of a realization of am I where I imagine myself to be? Call me ambitious but I always see room for improvement, it may not be in in the same context for each improvement that needs to be made, but there is always a challenge to conquer and with that I say why not conquer you? I have many areas on which I’d love to conquer however the idea of conquering each and every undisciplined part of myself I let slide such as desiring a larger vocabulary, building stronger muscles, calming any anger that may arise, or what have you just sounds like the ultimate to me. There is no other individual that can create you into the you you would love to be, and there is no way of conquering a personal journey with anyone but yourself. I’m a long way off from where I’d like to be and it’s a long way back to where I have been before, in short I’m going to work most on being here now. -SM

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